"Our Journey to Unschooling", by Patrice London

Our Journey to Unschooling

By: Patrice London, Labor Doula, Placenta Encapsulator, Mom, Wife, Opera Singer and Author

I remember unschooling my oldest daughter Jaiela before I even knew what unschooling was. It was just a natural thing for us. I was in college in FL when she was born and was very active in the drama club and opera ensemble. It was nothing to come to rehearsal and see me on stage with a script in one hand and my nursing baby on the other arm. As she grew we enjoyed laughing, reading, singing, acting, dancing, cooking, baking, opera’s, (adult and children’s opera) library storytime, frequent trips to the beach, and so much more. I soon began to dread the day we’d have to stop and send her off to school.

One day at an expo, Jaiela (then two) began to talk with a little boy of about 8 and his mom watched them and came to me and said “You homeschool don’t you?”. I had no idea what she was talking about and asked her to elaborate. She was a homeschooling mom and she said she could tell that I did a lot with my daughter. We exchanged information and I immediately left the expo and got every book I could find about homeschooling. I was so excited! I didn’t have to ever send my daughter off to school after all!

To my dismay, I did have to have my daughter in daycare off and on until she was 4 years old. While there, we went through a myriad of situations. She was two at the time and as a result of a helpful set of 3 year old twins I kept frequently, she quickly moved from “in training”status to fully potty trained. Because of this she was moved from the two year old class-and away from her new best friend to the class of 3 year olds whose room was conveniently located next to the bathroom. In a matter of months, she was moved from the 3 year old class to the 4 year old class because she knew the material being taught. At that point things began to get weird when all the children treated her like she was a baby and my once self stated “big girl”, began to act like a baby, which was completely out of character. I was able to take her out in the middle of the confusion and have her home again.

Some months later, we moved to DC and again I had to enroll her in a school. I felt absolutely terrible every morning for the entire year that she was enrolled. While there, I was able to get a real glimpse of what “school life” would be like as a parent. One thing that had me particularly horrified was the field trips. I somehow managed to take off or go in late whenever there was a field trip so that I could go along. While on various trips, I saw how little the teachers minded the children in their care. I remember while on a trip to the zoo, the teacher had four kids that she was to keep up with. One boy kept letting go of another boy’s hand and the teacher never noticed. I witnessed some other family bringing the boy back to the teacher after realizing he was straying from the group. Another time, the teacher looked back and the little boy was holding the hand of a complete stranger, walking along. I also remember bringing my daughter to school one morning to find one of the teachers screaming a child’s name, she’d lost the child! When she saw me she asked me if I’d seen him and I wanted to run out of there with my child so fast. At that point I began to beg my husband for a date that I could take her out, quit my job and come home for good. As if that weren’t enough, there were other negative aspects to the whole arrangement. Jaiela would often complain about not being able to do things when she wanted and as long (or short) as she wanted. She loves math and hated when “math time” was over and she had to move on to the next subject. She began to beg me to take her out. It was absolute agony. To make matters worse, I received a progress report that seemed to describe a totally different child. It was very apparent that her teacher knew nothing of her capabilities. She stated that Jaiela could not do things that we did together all the time. I became desperate and knowing I couldn’t quit, I asked my boss if I could change my schedule to four 10 hour days a week with Sunday being the first day of the week. He quickly replied no because it just wasn’t done and he could get in trouble but with my persistence and ingenuity I was working my Sunday thru Wednesday schedule in two weeks. I was happier knowing that Jaiela would only have to go to school 3 days a week but still pressed my husband for a date to get her out. After pushing the date a few times, September 2002 was the last Jaiela has seen of school and the first week in October I quit my job and we’ve never looked back. During the first year, we deschooled ourselves and just lived. The next year I got nervous, bought a packaged curriculum and bored Jaiela witless. I quickly came to my senses, and sold most of it. When I saw that she learned better without it I figured hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. We’ve been happily unschooling ever since.