Becky was not a client of Before, During & After, but was kind enough to share her personal experience with a doula.
My birth doula became a post-partum doula when I had an emergency caesarean at 34 weeks. I'd just met Patti, our doula, the week before I had a placental abruption (I'd been diagnosed with a marginal placenta previa at 30 weeks, but I'd suspected it since about 15.) With all the chaos around the emergency hospitalization (at Christmastime, during a nurses strike!) and the decision to do a caesarean, I never had a chance to call my doula, also, she wasn't really supposed to be on call for us for another few weeks. Not to mention, I wasn't sure at the time about a doula's role at an emergency caesarean. Now, of course, I wish she'd been with us, because my husband left to accompany our son to the NICU and I spent a few hours alone with no husband, no baby and no support team. I lost two liters of blood during the procedure and the details of the next few hours were hazy, but I remember being alone a lot and that was never what I'd anticipated for my birth experience. The comfort of a doula, focusing on me during that difficult time, would have made all the difference.
Our son, Griffin, had to be intubated due to his prematurity and underdeveloped lungs, and luckily, the Berkeley hospital where I delivered had a recently-renovated Level 3 NICU. When we left the hospital on Christmas Eve, we had to leave our little boy behind and it was one of the hardest things either of us had ever had to do. Then we called Patti, told her the whole story and asked her if she could be our post-partum doula instead.
Patti was very sensitive and flexible, coming over to our house during the challenging time when Griffin was still in the NICU. She brought her massage chair and did bodywork on Jake and me. She helped with housework and mostly served to buoy our spirits while we went through the daunting grind of driving 30 minutes to the hospital five times a day to see our son. She was a bright light during that time when I was healing from surgery, pumping around the clock and rushing vials of milk to the NICU.
On Griffin Liberation Day (January 1, 2008) we got the call to come get our son from the NICU. He'd passed all the required milestones, nippling all his feedings, breathing on his own, avoiding heart arrythmias and was ready to come home. I jumped in the car in my slippers, my husband forgot his wallet and neither of us thought to bring any clothes for the baby. We were just beyond ready to have our son home.
Patti came over again and helped us with the slippery task of giving five-pound Griffin his first bath and later helped us wash the poop out of the tub. Initially the thought of someone else folding my laundry seemed invasive, but I knew to surrender to Patti's experienced hands and soak up all the help she had to offer. Patti was one of the bright lights during the dark weeks after my son was born and our original birth plan went through the proverbial shredder. I'm glad she was flexible enough to transition from birth doula to PP doula and next time, I hope to have both. You really can't have enough support.
Now we've moved from the Bay Area, but we keep in touch with Patti via Facebook, the great connector. She gets to see all the pictures and videos of our son, Griffin, who is now two and a half and has completely recovered from any birth trauma or prematurity issues. Right now he's chasing his kitten with a mop. Hmmmm? I guess I should go now. :)
Becky Button
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